Life Lessons
by Violet Graham
Summary: As we travel through life, sometimes we have to remember the most important lesson to be learned, is to be true to yourself. Casey Novak/Other fictional character. Starts in present time 2011 and jumps between then and 2004. Give it a try- most stories are better than the summaries provided :
1. Chapter 1

I wrote this awhile ago, and it keeps popping into my head. It's Casey/other fictional character.

Hope you enjoy, love to hear feedback, too!

Oh, of course I do not own L&O SVU.

* * *

_2011_

"Fuck Lyn," I moaned as I grabbed onto the headboard and rode through my orgasm.

She reached for my breasts and stroked my nipples as I came, god she knew me so well, my breasts were always so sensitive right before I came and I felt another wave of pleasure accompany the first. When I collapsed onto her I gave her a gentle kiss and snuggled into her shoulder. As I got comfortable I realized my every movement was pushing our new toy deeper into her.

"Love?" I asked as I ran my fingertips over her skin.

"Hm?"

I rolled my hips and smirked at her. She grabbed my hips and stopped me, "no tomorrow is for me, today was for you."

I slowly sat up and rolled my eyes at her. When I gently removed myself from her, I walked naked into the bathroom to clean up. I stood in front of the mirror and took off my make up from the day. We had gone to dinner, and I barely made it through the door for round one, round two in our room was to try out our new toy.

I opened the medicine cabinet for my toothbrush, "Fuck," I muttered as I grabbed the sleeve of pills and popped one from it's casing.

When I looked up I saw Lynden standing behind me through the mirror.

"You know I can't really impregnate you with this…" She said gesturing at her appendage still between her legs.

I squinted my eyes at her, "I know _Lynden_, but it helps with my period and it keeps me regular…" I said holding the pill between my fingers.

"What if we wanted to, er, have a baby?"

Our eyes met again through the mirror, "are you serious?"

"Yes," she whispered as she moved closer and wound her arms around my flat stomach. She traced her hands up and down electrifying my skin.

She took the pill from my hand and threw it into the toilet.

I lay in her arms that night, feeling the rise and fall of her chest beneath me as I tried to shut off my brain.

We had made love again after her omission, the fierceness gone, replaced by tenderness. We had talked about having children before, but only danced around the topic. So much had changed in last five years sometimes I had to remind myself this was my life.

My eyes moved up Lynden's body to her face, a slight smile graced it as she dreamed. I reached up and pulled the brown curls from her face, my fingers skimming her skin. As if she knew I was watching her eyes peeked open and her smile grew, "Hi love," she mumbled catching my hand in hers and intertwining our fingers together.

"I'm sorry did I wake you?"

"No," she said kissing my hand.

My eyes lowered to our joined hands as I blushed at her romantic gesture.

She untangled her hand from mine and played with my wedding ring.

"What are you thinking?" She inquired.

I opened my mouth to lie and thought about where that had gotten me in the past, I took a deep breath and sighed, "About what you said earlier."

"Did I upset you?"

"No, just surprised me."

"If you don't want to Case…"

"No, no. It's just a lot to absorb right now."

Almost innately I realized the past I had been running from was going to catch up with me.

* * *

_2004_

_"But Auntie Casey, I don't wanna go to school. Can't I stay home with mommy?"_

_I brushed her strawberry blonde bangs from her forehead and looked at her pouted lips and the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes._

_I stopped outside her classroom and hugged her, "Mommy will be just fine, I promise. I'm going to go make sure she takes her medicine and tuck her into bed so she'll never be able to get out!"_

_A smile crept onto her lips, "you're silly."_

_"I know, but I promise Mommy is fine. Let's go inside and you can show me your classroom." I turned around and ran straight into Abby's teacher._

_"Oh god!" I said, "I am so sorry."_

_"Not a problem, it's a common occurrence in our class. You must be Renee, I'm Lynden Brent."_

_"Oh," I laughed, "no I'm Casey Novak, Abby's aunt. My sister is Carabella, Renee's wife. She's sick so she asked if I could drop off this munchkin off."_

_"I'm sorry." She said her cheeks brightening, "It's nice to meet you Miss Novak."_

_"Would you mind if I came in? Abby wanted to show me her classroom."_

_"Not at all. Hmm, Abby what would you like to show your aunt first?"_

_Abby pretended to think, tapping her finger on her chin, definitely a Novak I thought to myself, "Hmm. How about the blocks."_

_"After you two."_

_Abby soon got involved with her classmates, forgetting I was there. I quietly snuck back towards the door. On my way out, I stopped at the table Lynden was sitting at with four students. "Thank you for letting me stay. Sometimes she gets really worried about her mom."_

_"Not a problem, it was really nice to meet you Miss Novak."_

_"You too Lynden, oh sorry, Mrs. Brent."_

_"Miss. Brent," she clarified with a smiled, "it was nice to meet you too."_

_"See you at three."_

_I gathered with all the parents in the hallway waiting for the door to open. Lynden came out carrying a few objects. "Hi everyone, we had a great day today. This week is the letter K, each student made an alphabet page," she held it up to show us, "we also read the Rainbow Fish and each student made a 'Rainbow Fish' for our bulletin board."_

_I followed the other parents inside and found Abby sitting at a table waiting for me._

_"Aunt Casey!" She yelled as she came barreling at me. "Did you see my Rainbow Fish?"_

_"You made a Rainbow Fish? Wow, can you show me which one is yours?"_

_I picked her up and walked her over the bulletin board. "Which one is yours Abs?"_

_"That one!" she said pointing the fish that was an array of colors with a fin with glitter on it._

_"It is beautiful. I love it."_

_"Are you Casey Novak?" A voice behind me inquired._

_I turned around, "yes, I am."_

_The man behind me was stocky and holding Bella, Abby's classmate. "Wow, you know I read about you in the newspaper after you saved that little girl."_

_I just smiled at him, unsure of what to say. I could only think 'if you knew I asked to be moved afterwards I doubt you would be so impressed.'_

_"How did you know to look in the cooler? Can you imagine how cruel that man was? I can't believe he put that kid in the cooler." He went on a mile a minute, not allowing me to get a word in edgewise._

_I began to notice the few other people left in the room staring at me, including Lynden. Her eyebrows raised._

_I looked down at Abby, she was too busy looking at the other fish to notice, "Ready Abs?" I asked bouncing her on my hip, praying she would leave cooperatively._

_"Yep, I need to say bye to Miss Brent though."_

_"Nice speaking with you," I managed to get out as I walked quickly towards the door._

_"Bye Miss Brent. I'll see you tomorrow."_

_"Bye Abby, you take care of your mom, ok?"_

_"Ok will do!" she said sitting straighter and puffing out her chest._

_"Thank you Miss Brent." I said with a nod. _

_"Cara?" I called into the house as I set Abby down to find her mom._

_"In here," she called from the living room. Abby went running, and I followed._

_"How was school today sweetie?"_

_"Good, we made Rainbow Fish, and I showed aunt Casey mine."_

_Abby sat on the floor in front of the puzzle she had abandoned earlier as I settled onto the couch across from Carabella._

_"So you met Miss Brent?" She asked with a smile._

_Over Abby's head I raised my brows at her, "Yes."_

_"Nice, eh?"_

_"Yes Carabella, she was very nice."_

_You wouldn't know a good catch if it hit you upside the head."_

_"Carabella Marie."_

_"Abby, sweetheart, why don't you go get a juice box." Abby scrambled from the floor and ran towards the kitchen._

_"Casey, you pulled a nearly dead child's body from a cooler, you think I don't read what you do in the paper? I know it's not the half of it! You need to have something outside of that horror."_

_I knew it was petty but I couldn't quite catch myself, "Where's Renee been?"_

_"Don't try to turn this around on me Casey."_

_"I'm not. Miss Brent thought I was Renee, has she not meet Abby's teacher yet?"_

_"She's been really busy with work, Casey."_

_"Too busy for her daughter?"_

_"Stop it. Renee loves her."_

_"Then where is she? Why hasn't she been around?"_

_I noticed her place her hands on stomach and frown, "things are hard. We're working on it."_

_"You're pregnant again." It wasn't a question._

_"We had decided to try again a while ago."_

_"How far along are you?"_

_She shrugged, "about six weeks."_

_"Jesus Christ Carabella."_

* * *

More to come. Let me know what you think :)


	2. Chapter 2

Hello!

Here is chapter two. I want to thank JeffHardyfan724 and Sawyerr for reviewing. I appreciate it, and hope you continue!

I do not own any characters from L&O SVU.

* * *

_2004_

_Carabella had asked if I would pick up Abby again, I knew she had ulterior motives, but I couldn't say no to her, let alone Abby. _

_I ran through the doors of Abby's school and prayed to god that she was all right. I was supposed to pick her up at three, but court ran late and it was now twenty after. _

_As I walked through the open door of the classroom I began apologizing, "I am so sorry-"_

_I blushed when I realized my panic was unwarranted as Abby sat in the blocks area with Lynden building. _

"_Aunt Casey, look!" she said waving me over to show me her castle. _

"_Wow, Abby, you did a wonderful job."_

"_Miss Brent helped too!"_

"_Well, Miss Brent, wonderful job too!" I said winking at her._

"_Abby can you be my super helper, and pick up the blocks?" Lynden asked._

"_I am very sorry I was late, court ran late and—honestly it doesn't matter. I'm sorry."_

"_It's not a problem. Abby is such a sweet girl, it was my pleasure."_

_Her smile seemed to ease my lips into one too. Carabella's scheming or not I enjoyed our rendezvous._

* * *

_A few days later, I sat at my desk feeling overwhelmed by the mountains of paperwork that were on my desk. I was thankful when the phone rang, my mind begged for a distraction._

"_ADA Novak."_

"_Miss Novak? This is the nurse from Lexington Elementary. I'm here with Abby and her teacher, Miss Brent. Abby has a fever. We tried to get a hold of her mothers, but neither are available. You are her emergency contact. Would you be able to pick her up?"_

_I was already reaching for my suit jacket, "of course. I'll be there soon. Is Abby ok?"_

"_Yes, she is sleeping in the nurse's office."_

"_Ok, thank you."_

_I called Carabella on my way to the school, "where the hell are you?"_

"_I just left the gynecologist's office. What's wrong?"_

"_Abby's school called me, she has a fever and they couldn't get a hold of you or Renee."_

"_They couldn't get a hold of Renee? She's at the office."_

"_Evidently not. I'm getting her now. I'll take her to my apartment, you have a conversation that is long overdue with Renee."_

"_Casey-" I didn't let her finish before hanging up on her._

_Lynden met me in the main office, and walked down to the nurse's office with me. "She said her tummy hurt, so I had her eat snack. She barely touched it, so I put my hand on her forehead, and it was hot. I took her to the nurse, and her temperature was 100 degrees."_

_Abby was lying under a blanket on the cot in the office, her bangs were damp from sweat and her little cheeks were bright pink. I gently roused her and she opened her eyes obviously confused. _

"_Aunt Casey?"_

"_Hi sweetie. I'm going to take you to the doctor. Ok?"_

_She crawled into my arms and snuggled, "I don't feel good auntie Casey."_

"_I know sweetie, we're going to go to the doctor."_

"_Thank you," I said with a nod to the nurse, then followed Lynden out towards the exit._

"_I appreciate you calling me. Please never hesitate to do so."_

"_Thank you for coming."_

_I pulled the covers over Abby, who lay on my couch and shut the light off above her. I saw my phone light up and grabbed it when I saw Carabella's number. _

"_Hi, I'm outside." I was mixed in my feelings of anger and sympathy for her._

_I walked to the door and unlocked it for her._

_She let herself in and we walked into the kitchen._

_I didn't need to ask, I could tell by the look on her face that things hadn't gone well._

_Putting aside my frustration, I hugged her tight. After about five minutes Carabella sighed and sat down. _

"_Renee has been having an affair."_

_I bit my tongue, knowing that saying the obvious would hurt her feelings, "I'm so sorry Cara."_

"_OH come on, you knew as well as I did that it was happening."_

"_How long?"_

"_A year."_

_I couldn't control myself, "Wow."_

"_I know. She told me she loved her and that she wants a divorce."_

"_What?"_

"_I know."_

"_Who is it?"_

"_Someone she works with." _

"_What about Abby? What about the baby?"_

_The dam broke and Carabella broke down completely, "She wants me to abort it."_

"_What?"_

"_She said she never wanted Abby, that it was me pushing for her. The same with this baby. She has no actual ties to Abby or," she sighed as she looked at her stomach, "this one."_

"_That's ridiculous. The amount of heartbreak, the amount of effort you had to put into this, and not to mention the money, for her to suggest you abort it?"_

"_She didn't want a family, I did. She has a ton of money, so she thinks she can make it go away with money."_

_I knew it wasn't my place to ask but I did, "what will you do?"_

"_Cassandra, you have to ask?"_

* * *

_The next few weeks were a whirlwind as I helped Carabella and Abby move out. I told them Cara, she could stay with me until she found a place. Renee had given Cara a large amount of money so she could move and was paying her alimony. I didn't know the details, but evidently she had offered, that didn't make her any less of an asshole in my eyes. _

_Throughout the whole process Carabella said little, Abby knew what was happening but talked little of it to Cara or me. _

_I received another call shortly after the separation, from Lynden._

"_Miss Novak?"_

_I immediately recognized the voice, "Hi Miss Brent, is Abby ok?"_

"_Yes, I don't want to alarm you but I can't get a hold of either of her moms and she's not feeling well."_

"_Does she have a temperature?"_

"_No, um, she's emotionally distraught. I feel like it may be best for Abby to be picked up."_

_I sat up a little straighter. "Emotionally distraught, how so?"_

"_She was crying inconsolably for the last hour. When she was finally able to calm down she refused to let the aide leave her side. This isn't normal behavior from Abby."_

_I sighed, "Abby has had some changes in her home life…" I started, not sure what to even say._

"_Could I come down and talk with you?"_

"_Of course."_

_Twenty minutes later I was at Abby's school. She was in the observation room, sitting with the psychologist playing. I thought it was an odd parallel to being an ADA, and watching a criminal. _

"_I can't believe that Carabella didn't tell you. I am so sorry. Carabella and Renee are divorcing. She moved out with Abby to my apartment until they are able to get a different place. I'm afraid that that is why you're seeing such a change from the typical Abby."_

_Genuine concern crossed Lynden's face, "I am so sorry to hear that Casey," she said putting her hand over mine. _

_I looked at her oddly, she had never called me anything besides Miss Novak, let alone grab my hand. _

"_Oh I'm sorry." She said catching herself._

"_No, no it's ok." _

"_I'm sorry to say there's more," I continued, "Carabella is pregnant again."_

"_Her and Renee's child?"_

_I sighed, hard, "Abby and this child have no true biological ties to Renee, and she doesn't want anything to do either of them."_

_Lynden couldn't hold back the audible gasp. _

"_I'm truly sorry Carabella didn't tell you. I'm going to talk to her about all of this. Thank you for calling, please don't hesitate to call again."_

"_Good luck, Casey." _

_I smiled, hearing my name come from her. I picked up Abby and took her home. She clung to me as I walked into my apartment and didn't let go when Carabella met us at the door._

"_Abby didn't feel well so they called me."_

_Cara's face fell, "why wasn't I called?"_

"_They said you weren't available. They tried."_

_She opened her mouth to say something but I pushed past her, and put Abby down in bed._

_I closed her door and sought out Carabella, "where were you?"_

"_I went to get some things from the house," her eyes didn't meet mine._

_I wasn't fooled. "You fucked her didn't you?" I wasn't in the mood to hide my disgust._

_When she didn't answer I nearly spit, "you little girl was having a panic attack at school, and you were fucking Renee!"_

"_Casey it wasn't like that. We were trying to talk."_

"_How was she Cara? Could you taste the other woman she's been fucking behind your back, between her legs?"_

_Her jaw dropped. I walked away knowing I'd say worse if I stayed. _

"_I thought I could make her remember the love we once had."_

* * *

Reviews are greatly appreciated. I realize this is short, but I had to stop it there!

Review please!


	3. Chapter 3

Hello, here's chapter three! Thank you to the two wonderful people who reviewed! I see many others reading, but not reviewing, I'd love to hear from you. The previous two chapters I had already written so this is pretty fresh, so I'm definitely looking for feedback.

I do not own L&O SVU.

* * *

"_I thought I could make her remember the love we once had."_

_Her quiet admission stopped me. _

_I ran my hand through my hair, "I'm sorry Carabella. I shouldn't have said that."_

"_You're right," she said through the tears that poured down her face. _

_I pulled her against me, and her body started to shake, making my anger evaporate. _

_I had to leave early that next morning and hadn't had a chance to talk to Carabella. I knew she would be livid if she knew this was the second time I was late to pick up Abby, on top of all the other bullshit going on. I ran through the door of her school checking my watch, it was three thirty and I picked up my pace. When I walked through the door I saw Lynden sitting around her desk with papers around her._

_She looked up at me puzzled, "Hi Miss Novak, can I help you?"_

"_Where's Abby?"_

_She set down the pencil. "There isn't school today. It's a teacher in-service then work day."_

_My face flushed, "Oh. I'm so sorry." I said turning on my heel._

"_Miss Novak, it's ok," she said smiling._

_I rubbed my hands over my face, "I'm really sorry."_

"_Please, I think you just saved me from mountains of work."_

"_What?"_

"_Grab a cup of coffee with me?"_

"_Is that fraternization?"_

_She shrugged with a smile, "You aren't a parent of one of my students."_

_Intrigued, I walked out with her. _

_We walked to the coffee shop a few blocks away. When we walked up to the counter I immediately learned that this was a coffee shop she frequented often._

"_Hi Lyn," the barista welcomed her, "the usual?"_

"_Yes, please."_

_Lynden stepped aside and let me order, "What can I get you today?"_

"_Can I please have coffee, black?"_

_I stepped to the side beside Lynden and whispered into her ear, "You're a regular here?"_

_I almost missed the shiver that went through her body, almost._

"_About every morning. It's wonderful coffee." _

_My response was interrupted by the barista handing us our coffee. I followed her to a small table near the back._

"_How long have you been teaching at Lexington?"_

"_Mmm, about six years now. I moved from Chicago right after I graduated. This was my first job, and I've never looked back."_

"_Wow, what made you choose teaching?"_

_She laughed a bit, "my aunt was a teacher, my brother and I, we're twins, grew up with her. She had a day care in her home then when we were older she taught in public school."_

"_What grade did she teach?"_

"_Fourth grade."_

"_So you have a twin, any other siblings?"_

"_No, just us two."_

_I nodded, "If you don't mind me asking, what does your brother do?"_

"_He works for an adoption agency that specializes in helping gays and lesbians."_

"_That's wonderful, I know Carabella and Renee considered adoption."_

"_He really wanted to help others, after him and his husband adopted."_

"_So you have a niece or nephew?"_

"_A little nephew and niece. Grant wanted to carry on the tradition of twins in our family. Addyson and Alex."_

"_How old are they?" The smile on her face blossomed when she spoke of them, and I couldn't help but smile with her._

"_They are one. I have a picture," she said as she dug through her purse._

_She handed me a picture of the twins on their birthday, being held by their fathers._

"_They are adorable."_

"_Thanks, sorry I'm a proud aunt and tend to brag."_

"_No, no I understand. I love Abby so much. I have pictures of her all around my apartment."_

"_Do you have other siblings?" _

"_Yes. Carabella, Caroline and me."_

"_Are you all close?"_

"_Mmm, Carabella and I are. Caroline doesn't really get along with our family."_

_I could see her lips twitching wanting to ask, but she closed them and nodded her head._

"_So you are an Assistant District Attorney?"_

"_Yes, I work with the Special Victims Unit."_

"_Wow, I read about you saving that little girl in the cooler."_

_I sighed, "I still sometimes don't believe it."_

"_It must be difficult to work with that everyday."_

"_Very much, I'm still wet behind the ears but learning how to cope."_

"_I'm sure-"_

_My phone rang interrupting her thought and I sighed, "Sorry. Novak."_

_My hand immediately went to my forehead as I tuned out the sounds around me and listened to Olivia._

"_Ok, I'll head back to the office and see if I can get a warrant."_

_I shut the phone and smiled, "I'm sorry. I'm sort of on call all the time."_

"_No, no it's alright."_

"_Coffee was really nice, maybe we could do it again?"_

"_I'd like that."_

* * *

2011

I walked around the corner and saw Cara sitting at our favorite restaurant. Both girls, Abby, and her sister Josie, flanked Cara's side. Abby saw me, and came barreling at me. I picked her up and kissed her, I loved that at 12 years old she still let me kiss her in public. We had grown close during the time her and Cara had stayed with me, not to mention the mending of her heart when Renee walked out on them. I walked with her to the table and sat down.

"How are my favorite nieces?"

Abby smiled, "Aunt Casey, we're your only nieces."

"You caught me. How's school Abs?"

She rolled her eyes, "stupid."

Cara looked at me and smiled, "can you say preteen?"

"How about you Miss Josie?"

"Good." She replied. I looked up at Cara who smiled. Josie was a girl of few words.

Josie soon became restless as did Abby, "want to take a walk?"

We paid our bill and walked into Central Park. The girls ran ahead leaving us able to talk privately.

"How's Lyn?"

"She asked me if I wanted to start a family." I blurted out, it was heavy on my mind, I couldn't help it.

I walked about three steps and realized that Cara wasn't beside me. When I turned around her face was frozen.

"Cara, don't be so dramatic."

"I'm not, I'm just surprised. What did you say?"

"Yes, of course, I've always wanted children."

"Just take it from me, don't unless you're both ready."

My frustration rose, "I'm not you, Cara."

"I didn't say you were. Just look where I am."

I looked ahead at the two girls playing, "with two beautiful, smart girls who love their mother dearly?"

"Yes, but I'm not disillusioned to think that they aren't affected."

I thought back to the separation, the bad times, the good times where Cara was alone. It showed on her face, but I knew she wouldn't trade it for the world.

"I want to start a family too, Cara. If I hadn't been censured, it would have been before now."

I wasn't surprised by her silence, I barely ever brought up being censured. Now and then, someone else would mention it and I always pretended it never affected me.

As if walking on eggshells, Cara tentatively asked, "It's nearly over now, no?"

"Yes, there's no way I'm ever going back, I love where I am now."

"Never, say never." She warned.

* * *

Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions?

Hope to hear from you all :)

Thanks!


	4. Chapter 4

Hello!

Here is the next installment. I think it's obvious, but I am the writer so I'll just tell you to- the italics is the past, around 2004 and is moving closer to current time. When it isn't italics it's present day 2011.

So I would really love to hear some feedback, also, if anyone is interested in giving feedback prior to publishing, I'd love that. You can PM me.

I do not own L&O SVU, I do own the fictional characters :)

Vi

* * *

"_Hello?" I asked slightly out of breath as I ran to grab my phone._

"_Casey? Hi, it's Lynden, Lynden Brent." I could hear the nervousness in her voice. Cute, I thought as I sat down on the couch._

"_Hi Lynden. How are you?"_

"_Good, I know we were interrupted at the coffee shop and wondered if you wanted to grab dinner."_

_Happy, but nervously I replied, "sure."_

_That next Wednesday, I met her at Pasquali's restaurant. My jaw went slack when I saw her walk in, her 'teacher clothes' were gone and she was wearing a little black dress. The dress clung to her breasts and flowed off her body. I stood up when she approached the table, "you look amazing."_

_It was cute how easily she blushed when I gave her a compliment. _

"_You look great too."_

_The worries I had, since I hadn't been on a date in nearly a year evaporated. I was surprised how easy conversation flowed between us._

"_So if you don't mind me asking, when did you come out?"_

"_What makes you think I'm gay?" _

_I nearly dropped my fork, oh my god, had I misread all her signals? I felt the blush burn on my neck and cheeks._

_I covered my face and mumbled, "Oh- I'm sor-"_

_When I heard a pip of laughter, I looked up. Lynden was sitting across from me beside herself laughing._

"_Oh," she said between laughs, "I am so sorry, but the look, the look on your face."_

_Honestly, I wasn't finding the situation that humorous, but the brightness of her laugh, and the happiness she radiated dissipated my annoyance._

"_Lynden Brent, you owe me."_

_She let out one last giggle, and took a sip of water. "To answer your question I was eighteen. It's the classic story of falling for your best friend." _

"_Did she feel the same?"_

"_No, even more cliché, huh?"_

"_What happened?"_

"_I told her that I thought maybe I was gay. She had stuck by me in so many situations, there wasn't a doubt in my mind she wouldn't then. And, she did until I asked her if she ever thought of me. After that it was just, it just hurt too much. You cant take back words, they are so powerful. WE went our separate ways to college, and that was that."_

"_Wow. I'm sorry."_

"_Don't be. It's a double edged sword, if I never told her, I would hate that I hadn't. I would live a lie, which I couldn't do, but because of it I lost my best friend."_

"_How long had you been friends?"_

"_When we first met I was in first grade. My aunt didn't really let us out of the house much before we entered school."_

_I decided to leave that statement alone, feeling that Lynden wasn't ready to talk about it._

"_Um, so what about you?" she asked breaking the brief silence._

"_Well, I am not a "gold star" lesbian, I have dated guys and girls," I said biting my lip waiting to see what she said._

_She shrugged, "let's hear the juicy part, when did you come out?"_

* * *

2011

I sat in my gynecologist's office beside Lynden, a slight trembling in my body at the reality of what we were starting.

"Hi ladies," Dr. Rove welcomed us, "what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you both?"

I watched Lynden open her mouth and tentatively explain.

"Casey and I want to start a family."

Hearing the words outside the confines of our bedroom felt dreamlike, as I sat and listened.

A smile spread across Dr. Rove's face and she immediately brightened. "That is wonderful. I can definitely help you two get started. I will do some tests, then I want to refer you two out to a specialist who works with couples wanting to get pregnant." As she continued I began to feel overwhelmed, as if sensing it, Lynden reached for my hand.

* * *

_Lynden walked me to my door, "nice place," she commented._

"_Thanks, I'd invite you inside but Abby and Cara…"_

"_No, no I understand, I'll get the tour when they move out," she said with a wink. _

_I sighed, this was our third date and I was dying to kiss her. Lynden didn't need any more of a hint, she pulled me to her and kissed me softly. I moved my arms around her and we gently fell against the door. _

_We must have made a larger sound than we realized, because I felt the door opening behind me._

"_Oh, OH!" I heard Cara mumbled and quickly close the door. _

"_And that's why you cant come inside," I muttered as we righted ourselves. _

_She kissed me lightly, "maybe next time."_

* * *

"_Aunt Casey, when is mommy coming home?" Abby asked, tearing her eyes from the Saturday morning cartoons. _

_I looked at the floor, where Abby sat in her pjs, wrapped in a blanket. I patted the couch next to me, "come here munckin."_

_Blanket and all Abby climbed into my arms, I kissed the top of her head and gently rocked her._

"_Your mommy had to run a few errands."_

"_Is she with mom?"_

_I unintentionally did a double take, "Renee?"_

_Catching myself, "yes, they had do go through some things sweetie." Personal and financial I thought to myself._

"_I miss mom."_

_I was a little taken aback, Cara had always been the primary caregiver of Abby. I never said it, but I had a hard time imagining Renee taking care of Abby. _

"_Do you want to see Renee, your mom?"_

_She shrugged, leaning a little closer to me, "I don't know."_

_I kissed the top of her head again, "hmm, why don't you think about it ok?"_

_In a small voice she whispered, "I don't want mommy to be mad."_

"_She wont, she wants you to be happy."_

_I pulled her closer, "think about it Abs, I will take you to see your mom if you want."_

* * *

"_Novak," I said as I picked up my phone._

"_I don't think I told you I think it's super sexy that you say that every time I call." I blushed and immediately looked across my desk at Olivia, wondering if she noticed my blushing._

"_Uh… no you haven't." _

_My stuttering made Olivia look up and mouth " you ok?"_

_I nodded my head. _

"_So are we still on for tonight?"_

"_Yea, same old, same old?_

"_Actually I was thinking we could have dinner at my place."_

"_Sure. Uh, I'll see you then." _

_I looked over at Olivia, after hanging up, we weren't quite friends, I wouldn't even call us work friends, but I did see her raise a brow._

"_Where were we?" I asked, I felt my whole body flush at Lynden's message. We had made out like teenagers in her car and apartment._

_I ran home that day, and changed, I stood in my towel looking through my closet. I had put on a matching bra and panties set from the far depths of my dresser on, I just didn't know what to put over it._

"_Someone's getting lucky."_

_I spun around and saw Cara standing against my door with the Cheshire cat grin on her face. _

"_Oh shut up. We're having dinner."_

"_Where?"_

"_Her place."_

"_I repeat, someone's getting lucky."_

"_Out, Carabella."_

_I heard her shut the door behind her, and continued looking through the closet. It was hard to believe that we had been dating for three months now. I was careful, but felt the warning in my stomach that comes with falling in love. When I emerged, Cara gave me a catcall. _

"_Shut up,"_

"_What does that mean, Mommy?" Abby asked from the floor._

"_Yea, mommy, what does that mean?" _

_I kissed Abby's head, leaving Cara to explain, and left for Lynden's._

* * *

_Reviews?_

_Press that button and let me know your thoughts!_


End file.
